REJECTED

Sometimes you write a story and you know it’s not your best. You can accept a rejection in such cases (if you should be so bold as to submit it to someone), and go on to revise or rewrite.

Sometimes you write a story and you know it’s pretty damned good. Yet, the story (or stories as the case may be) is rejected. That can be extremely disappointing to the point of devastation.

CASEBOOK OF THE BLACK WIDOWERS

Current reading material is Asimov’s CASEBOOK OF THE BLACK WIDOWERS. I’m also on the verge of finishing up Pronzini & Malzberg’s BUG-EYED MONSTERS. Once that’s finished, I’m picking up a re-read, Frank Edward’s STRANGER THAN SCIENCE, something I haven’t read or even thought about since the 1960s. The Edwards books (along with the Edgar Cayce and John Macklin books) were a fun read back in the day. Might eventually have to do some re-reading of the Macklin books too.

BOOKS & BOOKS & BOOKS

Okay, playing catch up here…finished the 2nd Callahan’s collection, ie, TIME TRAVELLERS STRICTLY CASH. Also finished a re-read of Zukav’s THE DANCING WU LI MASTERS about quantum physics. It has been decades since I read it. Nice to get acquainted with it again.

Currently, I’ve two that I’m currently reading. One a re-read, Clarke’s REACH FOR TOMORROW, again, decades since I read it last. The other is the anthology BUG-EYED MONSTERS edited by Barry Malzberg and Bill Pronzini.

THE SHE-CREATURE

For me, this film stands the test of time. Yeah, a bit cheeky these days, but still way cool fun.

THAT HIDEOUS THING and Other Updates

A few updates here…

1. Geoff Davies has agreed to do the cover art for my four volumes of repackaged Lovecraftian stories (example in photo). Many thanks Geoff!

2. The four volumes of my Lovecraftian stories are -

Gretchen’s Wood (2nd edition)
That Hideous Thing
The Coming of Winter, Story Arcs Volume 1
The Dia Tessaron, Story Arcs Volume 2

When these four volumes are released over the coming year or so, they will comprise my complete Lovecraftian canon…maybe. I do have a final Lovecraftian project that I may return to some time in the future. Otherwise, I’m done with this subgenre. It's long past time I moved on.

3. Repackaging my Lovecraft material has impacted my DREAM & NIGHTMARES horror/science fiction/fantasy collection. The Lovecraftian material that had originally appeared in D & N has been removed (to be included in THAT HIDEOUS THING) and replaced with other non-Lovecraftian material. Specifically -

Removed

That Hideous Thing
The Bayou
Scotch Hill
Dark Hollow
JP and the Nightgaunt
Turnabout Is Fair Prey
The Science and Philosophy of Azathoth
The Last Singularity
Voices

Replacements

Midnight Carnival
An Eye for an Eye
Feast of the Dead
Children of the light
The Ole ‘33

NOTE: This pertains only to the print version, not the e-version which will remain the same. The new print version will be released sometime early next year.

4. As noted before, I’ve left horror and science fiction behind for a (long) while with two new projects. Here I’m staying for the foreseeable future.

5. And another rejection. I'm getting good at it. Disappointing? Yeah.

Okay, I had a story rejected today. One that I thought was a sure shot. Sure, I’m very self-critical about my work, but this one was good. Very good. Better than some of the garbage I’ve read in reputable mags. Still, this one was rejected. A very big disappointment.

I need to re-evaluate my direction here. I’ve already seriously slowed down my output. Either I change my genre, or stop altogether. Most certainly the material I thought was decent, and my ability to write somewhat proficient, apparently isn’t working.

CALLAHAN'S CROSSTIME SALOON

I've quite a number of Spider Robinson's books. This one was one of the first, but though I had started it, I had never finished it. Until now. Excellent collection.

BLACK SABBATH

Three short films in one. The segment entitled "The Drop of Water" creeped me out in my younger days. The sight of the dead woman, damn! I could imagine her knocking on my door and me answering it.

AGAINST THE FALL OF NIGHT

Recently wrapped up my 4th or 5th reread (I don’t remember which) of Clarke’s Against the Fall of Night. From there I moved straight into Clarke’s The City and the Stars, Clarke’s rewritten version of the prior mentioned novel.

Have to say that this is only my second read of The City and the Stars. I first read it decades ago before I ever read Against the Fall of Night.

While I’m on a Clarke kick for reading, The Sands of Mars is up next. I don’t know why but I’ve never gotten around to reading this one at all. One of the very few Clarke novels that have slipped through my reading list unread.

OF GOD & ALIENS

hotmail.com

Those interested in picking up a copy of my Lovecraftian collection OF GODS & ALIENS from lulu.com had better do so soon. In the VERY near future I will pull it from the market and it will cease to exist in its current form.

EARTHLIGHT

…by Arthur C Clarke is my current reading material. For the fourth time. I’ve taken to rereading a lot of material with the odd new item (eg, Timefall blog below) thrown in. In fact, I’ve three more Clarke rereads on deck after this one.

THE NEW WORLD TRILOGY

Back in the early to mid-80s I read James Kahn’s fantasy novel World Enough, & Time, and its sequel, Time’s Dark Laughter. For my money, two of the best fantasy novels ever written. I never knew for a number of years that Kahn actually wrote a third novel, making it a trilogy, ie., the New World trilogy. This third novel, written in 1987, was called Timefall.

A couple years ago I stumbled across this third novel on the net. About a year ago I picked it up through ebay. But it sat a while. Other reading matters pressed. Then finally, just recently, I read it. The third in the trilogy, all these years later after having read the first two. It didn’t disappoint me at all. Yes, the New World trilogy is one of the best fantasy trilogies written.

THE DOOR IS CLOSING...

...on my writing career.

Yeah, soon to be over. I’m working on an episodic novel, and even with that, I’ve got a bad case of writer’s block. I’ve got a few things pending, ideas, outlines, partially written stories, but I really don’t care. I’m disillusioned with writing and the industry in general.

So, after I finally get around to completing the episodic novel, that’s it. My experiment with writing my own material is over. I suppose this blog will be relegated to films and novels I like.

CITIES

Final TOC for CITIES edited by Dean Drinkel…

A Is For Adelaide Steven Gepp
B Is For Baltimore Ron Koppelberger
C Is For Calais Emile-Louis Tomas Jouvet
D Is For Darktowne Ran Cartwright
E Is For Erum Robert Tangiers
F Is For Fortune Paul Woodward
G Is For Gotham John X. Grey
H Is For Harbin G.R. Yeates
I Is For Intrepid City George Wilhite
J Is For Johannesburg Suzanne van Rooyen
K Is For Kathmandu Dave Fragments
L Is For Lobo Sandra Norval
M Is For Miami Rachel Chipp
N Is For Necropolis Richard Salter
O Is For Ottawa Carrie Orr
P Is For Paris Dean M Drinkel
Q Is For Quito Sean Monaghan
R Is For Ripon Philip Meeks
S Is For Stoke-On-Trent Jan Edwards
T Is For The Greatest City In America S. Wayne Roberts
U Is For Ur Jonathan Green
V Is For Venice Edward McKeown
W Is For Waddington Jason Brawn
X Is For Xanadu Steven Gepp
Y Is For York R.S. Pyne
Z Is For Zebulan Justin Miles

...and for those interested, the D story is subtitled "An Eye for An Eye," and the subtitle for Tangiers' E story is "The Crypt of Alhazred."

BLUE MOONS OVER WIDDLYDINK

My short fantasy satire story, “Blue Moons Over Widdlydink,” was in the top ten in Preditors & Editors readers poll for this past year (2011).

URBAN CTHULHU

Okay peoples, URBAN CTHULHU from H Harksen Productions was released a short time back…wrapping its slimy smoke and alley grit stained tentacles around your neck to drag you kicking and shrieking into a dark trash and body part strewn corner of an abandoned building…just TRY to escape. You’ll fail.

CONTENTS:

“Dancer of the Dying” by Jayaprakash Satyamurthy
“The Neighbors Upstairs” by John Goodrich
“Carcosapunk” by Glynn Owen Barrass
“Architect Eyes” by Thomas Strømsholt
“Slou” by Robert Tangiers
“Ozeelah’s Lake” by Morten Carlsen
“The Statement of Frank Elwood” by Pete Rawlik
“In the Shadow of Bh’Yhlun” by Ian Davey
“The Screamer” by T. E. Grau
“Night Life” by Henrik Sandbeck Harksen
“the guilt of each … at the end…” by Joseph S. Pulver, Sr.

The back cover blurb:

What lurks in the damp recesses of urban existence?

These new tales of weird fiction are a blend of urban horror, pulp noir and dark fantasy. Lovecraftian horrors and Cthulhu Mythos monsters have never been this gritty.

From haunted Kingsport across the globe to shadowy Berlin and the otherworldly music of Bangalore. From kind, sexy neighbors to cyberpunk paranoia an The King in Yellow. A journalist's search with unexpected results. What really happened to Walter Gilman, and what is the origin of the witch Keziah Mason? And witness humanity fail against the forces from beyond.

From weird sounds to screams of madness.

Entropy. Chaos. Disorder. Death.

Beneath cities, on the outskirts of ruined, aeon-old cities and INSIDE cities. The stench, the decay, the hopelesness... it is everywhere.

Welcome to URBAN CTHULHU: NIGHTMARE CITIES.

CARNIVAL

CARNIVAL is now available from Amazon. This anthology includes my story "Midnight Carnival" written under the pen name Robert Tangiers.

Carnival TOC -

Carnival Preparation by Chris Bartholomew
Ashton Howard's Dark Process by George Wilhite
The Carnival Under the Midsummer Moon by Richard Jay
Goldstein Titus by Mike Koch
Something Wicked by David Renfrow
Mr Marvel's Magical Mystery Tour by Dorothy Davies
I Miss My Son by Mason Swithen
Spook by Cutter Slagle
Midnight Carnival by Robert Tangiers
Cutter Creek by Courtney Martin
Hands by Peter LaBerge
Syrup by Emma Kathryn
Illusionist Weaver Movie Theatre by Robert William Shmigelsky
Fortune Teller by Pat Lewis-Bussard
Carnival Mask by J L Petty
The Older Man by Kevin L Jones
Stay Awhile by Timothy Nakayama
Carnival of Ancients by Kelley Nicol
Carnival of Fear by Neil Leckman
The Boundary by Tyler Robinson
Mismatched Blood by Ron Koppelberger
The Romani Brothers' Carnival by Brianna Stoddard
The Carnival Hungry of the Good Dr Sullivan by T Fox Dunham
Blood Fair by Matthew Wilson
The Bullet Catch by Matthew Wilson
Personal Demons by Nicky Peacock
Grim Games by Matthew Wilson
Unfair Ground by Matthew Wilson

SYNAPTIC VOID

Update: SYNAPTIC VOID is now available at Amazon.

Joe Jablonski, editor of Static Movement’s upcoming SYNAPTIC VOID anthology, ran a contest for best story for said anthology. A recent email from Joe went, in part, as such -

“I…wanted to let you know that you have been chosen as winner for best story (I actually think its one if the best stories I've read anywhere).”

Many thanks, Joe! Much appreciated.

The story in question is “The Last Singularity,” my little Lovecraftian science fiction story that takes place at the end of all things… Hope some of you decide to check out the anthology and my story!





TOC is…

The Last Singularity by Ran Cartwright
Dear Mom and If Buk Wrote Sci-fi by David S. Pointer
Invaders We by Martin Zeigler
The Death and Life of 14RR-E by Jake Johnson
Alpha and Omega by Voss Foster
Binary by Patrick Christian
Ego Trip by John H. Dromey
The Bachelor by Ron Koppelberger
Memories of Jonathan Lampedius by Howard Cincotta
As Nature Intended by Ken Goldman
Edge of Twilight by Matthew Wilson
Deejnoy 351c by Dene Bebbington
Ganglion Trains by Sean Monaghan
Rat Pack by Lee Clark Zumpe
Pupils by Wol-vriey
Snowbound, With Wolves by Dave Fragments
Death of Progression by Matthew Wilson
Dead Air by Matthew Wilson
Smoke Signals by Iain Pattison
Sector Seven by Frances Pauli
Graceful Exit by Kevin P. Kilburn
Humechanized by Jorden Greer
The Being by Tammy A. Branom
Repeat Offender by Mathew Wilson
Shadows by Eric Kruger
Cruel Sparks by Dene Bebbington
Just Visiting by Tammy A. Branon

SCREENPLAYS et al...updated

Took a lead from fellow writer Willie Meikle and listed a few screenplays, short film scripts, and treatments at Scrib’d. If anyone should care to take a look, the following are now available to read.

BLACK SAM miniseries Part 1 - Historical drama about pirate Black Sam Bellamy, this is the "epic" (longer) version of the screenplay that I have split into two parts for a possible television miniseries. As such, it does not contain "Acts." It does contain the contemporary opening and closing scenes as well as the "accused witch" Maria Hallett storyline that the shorter version of the screenplay does not include.

BLACK SAM miniseries Part 2 - Part 2 of the Black Sam miniseries...see Part 1 for description.

MCKINNEY: The Last Gunfighter - Spec screenplay; true story of the last days of California gunfighter Jim McKinney until cornered in a Chinese opium den.

Falling Asleep at the Wheel - 2 act short spec script; based on a local Ohio ghost legend that appears to be a legend everywhere.

The Pirate Lady - This is a spec proposal for a two part miniseries about pirate Ann Bonny.

COLONIES (the teleplay) - This is a 7 act science fiction spec script about a group of rebels living in the Outer Colonies of the Solar System. Could be a MOW or a pilot film for a series (note other COLONIES items I’ve listed).

COLONIES (series proposal) - This is a spec proposal for my science fiction television series, COLONIES. Includes brief overview, locales list, character list, and a brief synopsis of additional episodes.

BLACK SAM: A Pirate’s Tale - This is a spec treatment for a long epic script based on the lives of pirate Black Sam Bellamy and accused witch Maria Hallett.

BLACK SAM: A Pirate’s Tale - This is a shorter version of the Black Sam script, minus the contemporary intro and close, and minus the Maria Hallett storyline.

SUMMONING TSATHOGGUA - This is a two act short film script adapted from my short story of the same title.

DYING TIME - This is a four act short film script adapted from my wife’s short story of the same title.

NIGHT VISIONS - This is a five act short film script adapted from my short story “Sex & Death.” A rewritten version of this story appears in my DARKTOWNE collection.

Jules Verne’s FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON - This is my feature adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic science fiction novel.

THE GIRL WHO WALKED IN CIRCLES - This is a feature adaptation of Mike Minnis’ short Lovecraftian story of the same title.

More to come with time…

AN ENDING...updated

At age 44 Clark Ashton Smith virtually stopped writing, went off in other directions with other endeavors. I intend to do the same at age 58. Yes, I’m 58 now.

Granted, there were extenuating circumstance in CAS’ case. Personal tragedies, etc. Not true in my case. I’m simply tired and disenchanted with the entire enterprise of writing.

However, I’m not finished just yet. I have a lot of notes, note files, outlines, ideas, etc. Enough to keep me going the rest of my life should I choose to, and without further additions to said files, etc., which, thanks to imagination, has a tendency to grow daily. But I choose not to; a line must be drawn or I’ll never stop.

So, a line has been drawn. I’ve picked ten stories that I intend to finish by the end of this year. I have one last brief story promised to an editor (whether or not it’s accepted); other promised materials have been written and submitted. That leaves the rest as material I simply need to write or finish with no deadlines, etc.

I might add here that I’m also in the process of rewriting all the GRETCHEN’S WOOD stories for a 2nd edition of the collection…these stories are not included in the ten I mentioned above.

Lastly, once finished, I’ll continue to do what I can to see they attain print in some capacity. But any further output will be non-existent.

** ** UPDATE ** **

For those who may be interested, here’s what to expect by the end of this year.

Two Gyndron novellas
One IC novella & two IC shorts
Three J Worthington shorts
One Slagheap short

Also, a rewrite of the GRETCHEN’S WOOD stories for a 2nd edition.

Currently I’m running behind my timeline, so a couple of the above listened proect may not get done.

** ** UPDATE #2 ** **

4 May 2012

I’m way behind the curve on the intended stories to write and edit by the end of this year. I’m having a hard time even concentrating on rewriting and editing a second edition of GRETCHEN’S WOOD let alone write anything new.

So, I’ve decided to start my retirement from writing early. Semi-retirement is perhaps a more accurate term. That’s right. I’m just going to take my time writing what I need to write no matter how long it takes. When I get the above listed materials finish, then I’m finished.

WHEN IS GNYDRON NOT GNYDRON?

When it’s the Dreamlands.

I’ve written nine Gnydron stories (published in 3 chapbooks from Rainfall Books). I had planned to write two more, both of them being longer stories than the originals, more akin to long novelettes or short novellas.

Then one of those meetings of the minds happened out of the blue. Perhaps some disembodied minds floating in the aether gave me a heads up, a new direction? Maybe the man himself was calling from out of the dark, saying…”Hey you! Try this instead!”

Yeah, cool, neat idea. So I’m going to do just that. My nine Gnydron stories will remain the only Gnydron stories I’ve written. These two new stories will be set in the Dreamlands instead. Therefore, I’m going to have to brush up on my Dreamlands material. Has been quite a while since I had read any of the stories by the man himself or others.

While I do the brushing up, I’ll work on other material instead…like re-writing more of the GRETCHEN’S WOOD stories for a 2nd Edition and my Innsmouth City material.

This is going to be entertaining.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

A classic, much better than the remake. Nothing more need be said.

AT THE HOTEL MONTICELLO

Coming soon...

There’s this little six story joint at one of many crossroads in time and space. It’s called the Hotel Monticello. Not many hang out there, but those that do, they’re an odd lot. There’s the old woman who plays a crying violin; a time traveling gangster blues pianist, and his blues singing whore; a gay couple fresh out of the big house; the mysterious woman that wears a Venetian mask; a writer being chased across time and space; the two-bit hood come to make a buck; and a small assortment of other down on their luck characters. Then there are the demons that show up from time to time, and the strange assortment of dark shapeless beasts they bring with them.

Care to stop over for a visit?

TOC

At the Hotel Monticello
Something Like Mephistopheles
The Beasts of Harrow Point
Share and Share Alike
The Shade
Of Alexandra, Possessed
The Masquerade Ball
Night of the Blood Red Moon
The Dead, Death, & Decay

URBAN CTHULHU

Coming very soon...URBAN CTHULHU from H Harksen Productions. Includes my story “Slou” written under my pen name, Robert Tangiers.

TOC:

“Dancer of the Dying” by Jayaprakash Satyamurthy
“The Neighbors Upstairs” by John Goodrich
“Carcosapunk” by Glynn Owen Barrass
“Architect Eyes” by Thomas Strømsholt
“Slou” by Robert Tangiers
“Ozeelah’s Lake” by Morten Carlsen
“The Statement of Frank Elwood” by Pete Rawlik
“In the Shadow of Bh’Yhlun” by Ian Davey
“The Screamer” by T. E. Grau
“Night Life” by Henrik Sandbeck Harksen
“the guilt of each … at the end…” by Joseph S. Pulver, Sr.

DESTINATION MOON

A brief word of explanation here for those who may stumble upon this blog for the first time. I’m a major b-grade 1950s & 60s science fiction and horror film fanatic. As such, from time to time I post trailers or clips of films I like. Such as this one!

A little trip to the moon, anyone?

SORCERIES GNYDRON 2

SORCERIES GNYDRON Volume 2 is a three story arc chapbook from Rainfall Books that includes my stories -

“The Serpent and the Crown”
“The Sorceress of Tutanor”
“The Nature of Magic”

A little historical note, Gnydron was Clark Ashton Smith’s original name for Zothique. Aside from a brief story fragment from Smith himself, I am unaware of any stories ever having been written using Gnydron as a setting.

Further, rather than replace Zothique with Gydron, I have set these stories in Zothique’s past, treating the name Gnydron as the last continent’s name prior to its being called Zothique.

WRITE, EDIT, SUBMIT

Okay, I do all three with a modicum of success.

Concerning those times where success is fleeting (or non-existent), there are questions. How often do I submit material to the same publisher and get nothing but rejections? Are they trying to tell me something? Is it an exercise in futility to keep sending material and meet nothing but a brick wall, sometimes not even a response to a reasonable follow up query? Maybe they just don’t like ANYTHING I write. Anything? Everything?

Well, it IS an exercise in futility. At last to me. Why waste my time and their time if they just aren’t interested? So, for better or worse, I’ve allotted myself three rejections from the same publisher before I stop submitting material to said publisher. I figure that’s enough. After the third rejection, they won’t hear from me again unless they approach me first. And if they DO approach me for material, they’ll be EXTREMELY lucky if I agree to their request. Of course, I’m sure the well to draw from is deep so a story from me means little to nothing.

Too much to ask for? Am I being selfish, perhaps even a little bitter? Maybe. All I can say to that is que sera sera. Three strikes and I’m outta there! Besides, I’ve got my own ideas on how publishers (most, but certainly not all) select the material they elect to publish, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the story, its content, quality, or entertainment value. But that’s a subject for another blog.

MY PREDITORS & EDITORS FINALS

Someone was kind enough to list a few of my works this year. Their standings in the final tally were:

Horror Short Story: 13. The Devil's Whore, Ran Cartwright, Frogtown Press

Horror Novel: 13. Dreams & Nightmares, Ran Cartwright, Frogtown Press

Science Fiction/Fantasy Short Story: 9. Blue Moons Over Widdlydink, Ran Cartwright, Frogtown Press

Science Fiction/FantasyNovel: 22. The Illustrious Annals of Slagheepian History, Ran Cartwright, Frogtown Press

Not bad, mid-range mostly, ‘cept for Slagheep; a little low for my tastes. And nice to see Blue Moons in the top ten (which appears in the Slagheep antho BTW).

CTHULHU MYTHOS - TO BE, OR NOT TO BE?

As far as I’m concerned, not to be. By name anyway. Recently I posted a comment in Facebook concerning the name, that it was creation of August Derleth, that I reject the name, and prefer the term Lovecraftian Horror instead.

This little commentary here is to set the record straight on my comments and my view of Derleth and his contribution to the Lovecraftian Horror Canon.

Now, I’m sure somewhere along the line I’ve read Derleth’s reasons for choosing the term, but I’m not a fanatic enough fan to dissect everything everyone has ever written about Lovecraftian Horror and its contributors, and remember everything for the point of discussion and argumentation. It really doesn’t matter.

As I noted in Facebook, Cthulhu is just one of many GOOs (they’re not gods, they’re aliens). Derleth’s creation could have taken on any number of forms…ie., Azathoth Mythos, Nyarlathotep Mythos, Shub Niggurath Mythos, etc., but it became the Cthulhu Muthos instead. Too me, that’s centralizing the character of Cthulhu far too much than need be. I wonder, if not for Derleth’s term, would the character of Cthulhu be as popular as he/it is today?

Another point of Derleth’s I disagree with, and that is the good vs evil fight between the GOOs and the Elder Gods. We might just want to throw in the idea of elementals as well since it fits into the same scheme.

The elementals? Yes, air, fire, earth, and water, and equating various beasties with each. Sure, I understand that in a socio-cultural context of primitive human beings, they would look to forces of nature to explain things they didn’t understand or feared. But modern humanity (can I use that term?) would have been able to differentiate. Ithaqua wouldn’t have been associated with air, nor Cthulhu or Dagon with water, etc.

The good vs evil conflict? It supposedly parallels the Christian Mythos, but that had never been Lovecraft’s point. The GOOs and Old Ones, etc., were suppose to be beyond the comprehension of humanity, something so above, beyond, and apart from any concept we could come up with and still be wrong. They are big bug-eyed monsters with an agenda all their own, stomping on us when we happened to get in their way, or use us for their own inexplicable ends, or use us simply as food. Cut and dry. No good guys, no bad guys, just us and BEMs.

This brings me to the end of this discourse…am I anti-Derleth as so many seem to be, and so many vehemently so? No, not at all. I’ve said on many occasions that when I write Lovecraftian Horror, I write it for the fun of it, the entertainment value. And although I may disagree with Derleth on the term Cthulhu Mythos and the good vs evil concept, etc., Derleth’s written contribution has entertained me. In fact, THE LURKER AT THE THRESHHOLD, mostly written by Derleth based on a short idea that Lovecraft had left behind, remains one of my favorite Lovecraftian Horror stories/novels to this day.

THE WITCHFINDER

Excerpt of “The Witchfinder” from DARKTOWNE…

It was dawn, just past when the blackness of night begins to creep away. The Witchfinder was sleeping inside the door of an abandoned building, dreaming of killing bitches and burning and hanging witches. Those purveyors of horrid evil and unspeakable sundry acts screamed and howled as he strung them up, took torches to them, or pressed them beneath boulders. Ridding the world of such sundry vermin was his mission.

Of course, there were those occasional evil young witch-babes pleasing to the beady eyes of the infamous Bitch-Killer. Those young sweet witch-babes of evil intent were not put to the rack, thumb screws, iron maidens, wheels, or hanging cages before the rope, torch, or stone claimed them. No no. When it came to the evil young witch-babes, the Witchfinder had his own highly devious and effective ways to illicit information and confessions. Most prominent was the Witchfinder’s pole. His personal pole. They huffed and puffed and squealed. Mostly with delight.

Such had been the case with one special evil young spell casting storm raising witch-babe. Now long dead, neck stretched, an oak tree ornament, in her time she had been one fine huffing and puffing and squealing witch-babe. Many a day and night had the Witchfinder dreamed of her. As he was on this fine graying morning of death and terror…

Ah ohhhhhh, ahhhh, the dream witch-babe squealed and huffed and puffed.

Naked, sweaty, beady eyes wide and glassy, the Witchfinder was rockin the evil little witch-babe’s world. Who’s yur daddy, witch-babe!? he shouted. Who’s yur daddy!?

You, Chadwick, she called out. Chadwick Corey. Chadwick Corey… Chadwick…Chadwick…Chadwick…

The name echoed through the predawn air, and through the Witchfinder’s dream of poling that special spell casting storm raising evil young witch-babe. He shook his head, and then shook his other head, whisking away the last vestiges of sleep. Still, his name echoed through the predawn air.

Chadwick…Chadwick…Chadwick Corey…Chadwick…

His beady eyes, still glassy from a night of solitary exertion, shot open wide. With a gasp of stale air, the Witchfinder sat bolt upright and peered about the gloom. Still the voice came.

“…Corey…Chadwick Corey,” it was saying. “Chadwick Corey.”

Then he cackled softly. It was the old woman. The one that had led him to Tamsin Blight, the former Grande High Toad-Witch of Smokey Hollow.

“Chadwick Corey,” it came, “we’re waiting for you.”

She was outside the abandoned building. Out in the street. The Witchfinder ignored his clothing, his long frock coat, his wide brimmed black hat, and stepped through the doorway, naked and staring. Across the street stood the bent old woman. She wasn’t alone. Flanking the old crone were four abominations of the dead.

“Pray tell, what manner of abomination is this?” the naked Witchfinder crowed from across the street.

“Only the dead,” the old woman cackled softly.

“Mind your words, old woman,” the Witchfinder warned. “I am the instrument of God…”

“I am the instrument of Death,” the old woman interrupted. Her pink eyes flashed.

** ** **

From H Harksen Productions and available through Lulu.com.

Check it out!

INVADERS FROM MARS

I think I was about 6 years old when I first saw this film. Creeped me out, seeing people sucked down into those sand whirlpools and come back zombified!

Now it's campy fun.

POE-IT

Many thanks for Static Movement for accepting my “Poe” story, “The Final Chapter,” for their POE-IT anthology. My contribution for this anthology has a certain built in twist. I wonder how many people will recognize it when they read it.

THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIAN HISTORY

UPDATE: Now available at Amazon for Kindle. Only 99 cents. Check it out!

Well, peoples, rightnowas Ipost this, I have a few items up and running in the Preditors & Editors reader’s poll (see below). One of the items as mentioned below if my collection of irreverent fantasy tales, THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIAN HISTORY. One of the stories from this collection, “Blue Moons over Widdlydink,” is also in the running.

As a further note, although already in print, the collection will be released in the next few days in eBook form. So, to celebrate that and the P & E Reader’s Poll, here is an excerpt from “Blue Moons over Widdlydink” -

* * *

There was a sudden Slagheep tremor. A dark noxious paint peeling cloud swept across the barren parched nasty wasted wasteland outside the cave. Echoing distantly through the night came a noise that sounded remarkably like someone in a perpetual state of the dry heaves.

But the stoners didn’t feel the tremor, didn’t notice the noxious cloud, didn’t hear the dry heaving fits of a nearby Bobo. They would have cared less had they. Their attention was drawn elsewhere, captivated by the secret that PeePee had stowed away in the cave for so so so so long that the brain fried stoner couldn’t remember when he had put it there except that he had copped it from a museum just like he had the three toed ho that rested in pickled Huht greased slumber back in the Hep-Pad beneath the Forbidden Palace.

Like the three toed ho, here was a glass case, though this one stood upright, was frosted over in frost, and cold and clammy to the touch. PeePee approached the case, rubbed a circle clear, and stepped back. There was a face in there. It was a sleeping face, on ice for a long long long long time. But a face that was instantly recognizable to the stoners, even to the newest stoner of the group.

“Far out,” Quoddie said softly, reverently, in suitable awe and admiration of the nearly mythic and god-like figure reposing before her very eyes in the cold clammy confines of the glass sarcophagus.

“Groovy,” Crabby Hoffman said, equally soft, and equally awed and reverent.

Pimple Haze said nothing. At the sight of the figure in the glass coffin, she totally spaced out, got a huge raging rush of screaming hormones (ie., got the instant hots for the legendary dude), and passed out…SPLAT!...flat on the floor at their feet.

“Tha…tha…that…tha…that…,” Crabby stammered while jabbing a finger in the air at the figure in the glass casket. Crabby’s eyes were wide and he had a rather obvious dumbfounded stupid look etched across his face.

“Eyep, groovy!” PeePee blurted before erupting into uncontrollable stupid giggling.

“Far out,” Crabby said, barely audible, as he stared at the sleeping figure. “Timidly Blurry.”

“Yeah, dude, the heppest hepcat stoner of all time,” PeePee was able to get out before descending into another bout of uncontrollable stupid giggling.

Pimple was starting to awaken, struggling to sit up.

“But what…I mean, how…eh…,” Crabby was still stammering.

The stupid giggling started to subside. “We’re gonna wake him up,” PeePee said, catching his breath.

Pimple heard that, and….SPLAT! Flat out on her back like an ancient three toed ho in ancient Riffhaven.

“Wake him up?” It was Quoddie. She could talk without stammering.

“That’s right, baybee!” PeePee replied.

Pimple was starting to awaken and struggling to sit up again.

“We’re gonna have us a show, baybee,” PeePee was saying, “and the stars of the show iz gonna be Freaky Froggie and the Hepfrog Frogettes!”

“Huh?” Crabby and Quoddie.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…” SPLAT! Pimple was out again.

“The far out groovy dude’ll explain it,” PeePee said with a stupid lopsided grin. The stoner stoked and fired up the bong with a mix of doovee and powered Huht Rinds. Popping a cork on the face of the glass case, the brain fried stoner fed a stream of potent bong smoke into the case that contained the long sleeping (not dead) ultra cool ancient brain fried stoner groovy far out hepcat, Timidly Blurry. The glowing smoke curled about the sleeping stoner. And to the delight of all concerned, his eyelids suddenly fluttered. He grinned a big cheesy long asleep kind of grin, and took a deep breath.

“Far out groovy!” Blurry said.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh…” SPLAT! Pimple had passed out again, having awakened unbeknownst to her three companions.

The door of the glass sarcophagus casket coffin-like thing opened with a whoosh and a whiz, and out stepped the legendary brain friend stoner, inventor of yakachuggadooveeamide (commonly known as doovee; much easier to pronounce) and other assorted hallucinogens not to mention the children’s game, Cap’n Kid Stoner. Feeling much younger than his current 6.38 braggilid cycles of age (that would be 31,438 years for you and I), he belched, farted, and took another hit from PeePee’s bong.

“Ahhhh,” Blurry said with a sigh, “now that’s some good frog shit!”

“Speakin’ of frogs…” PeePee said expectantly, panting like a well oiled three toed ho.

Blurry caught his breath. The memory returned. His dastardly subversive cunningly devious plan so long ago formulated was now about to be realized.

“Yes yes!” Blurry blurted. “Are they still there?”

PeePee nodded excitedly.

“Far out groovy!” Blurry exclaimed. “And the stage?”

PeePee nodded excitedly again. “I built it when no one was watching!”

“Far out groovy!” Blurry exclaimed again. “Let’s get the show on the road. Get ready to rokkenrol!”

“Huh?” Crabby asked.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” SPLAT! Out like a light.

THE MAN FROM PLANET X

Okay, when I first saw this film as a very young avid science fiction and horror fan, the little space dude really creeped me out. To this day it remains one of my favorite science fiction films.

P&E CRITTERS

If you happen to stumble into this blog, and the P&E Reader’s Poll is still happening, would be nice and appreciated if you’d hop on over there and plop down a few votes for me.

I’ve been lucky enough to be nominated in four of their categories. They are horror novel (DREAMS & NIGHTMARES), fantasy novel (THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIAN HISTORY), horror short story (The Devil’s Whore), and fantasy short story (Blue Moons over Widdlydink).

Many thanks, ya’ll!

CRITTERS