Saturday, December 31, 2011

DARKTOWNE...

...has arrived!

New from H Harksen Productions is my collection of industrial horror stories entitled DARKTOWNE. This is a collection of stories about vampires, zombies, blood whores, ghosts, witches, mutants, demons, living slime, and others that may seem vaguely (or not so vaguely) familiar who populate a ruined and dying town descending into madness, and those trying to escape.

The TOC is…

Prelude: The Afternoon of a Faun

Night Demons
Baden Street Blues
Blood Whores
Kaba
The River Rats
The Toad-Witch
The Witchfinder
Noah's Ark
Like a Thief in the Night

Postlude: The March Hare

Like Henrik says, Welcome to Hell on Earth - welcome to Darktowne!

Check it out at Lulu!

Friday, December 30, 2011

THE HAUNTING

This is the film version of Shirley Jackson's novel THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE. A really creepy movie (and book), much better than the remake.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIAN HISTORY

Coming VERY soon to eBook is my fantasy satire collection, Selections from…THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIN HISTORY with stories by me, song lyrics by Christene Britton-Jones, and cover art by Sunny Hatter.

Try it out, get slagged, shagged, hoed, maybe even have your head bounced or stuffed between Bertha Bustanut’s two gargantuan enormous milkers! Such a disastrously horrible thought…unless you’re into that…

Beeee that as it may, here’s the eBook blurb on the subject…

Civilizing with a grunt and a groan; that’s what it says at the beginning of “Tale of the Trojan Sphynx.” Well, yeah, might as well say that’s how it all started. Grunting and groaning. But that little experiment in Slagheep’s primordial slothic scummy dooey goo has given us some of the most vile disgusting gut belching, ass farting, nitwits and numbskulls the multiverse has ever witnessed. Care to witness for yourself? Then dive in. At your own risk of course.

A little irreverent.
Some adult content.
Some satire.
Some fantasy.
A lot of fun.

Here’s a few of the colorful characters that you’ll find in Selections from...THE ILLUSTRIOUS ANNALS OF SLAGHEEPIAN HISTORY -

• Lil’ Skippy Shitler in his bid to enact war on anyone over two feet in height.
• Bertha Bustanut who makes an unscheduled stopover in the Slagheepian village of East Mudbucket.
• Timidly Blurry the king stoner brought back from the dead to promote one last multiversal “rok” concert.
• Doktor Froggenstein and his terribly horrible nasty experiment.
• Elderly Billy Space Codger and the December Frog reminiscing about the old days.
• Billy Space Dude…yeah, there was an unfortunate time warping accident.
• Cap’n Brane Phart traveling the Spaceways for excitement and adventure.

Come for a ride on the Spaceways across the multiverse with these colorful characters and an amalgam of other such ne’er-do-well nitwits and join in their galvanizing misadventures. You’ll be on Slagheep in no time!


Okay, so there ya have it, that’s the blurb that will appear with the eBook. Here’s the entire TOC…

Varnie Proposes Marriage
Rasta Booglely-Doo and the Old Seer of Frogtown
The STRANGE UP & DOWN World of FLAVOR & CHARMing COLORs
Sheisgrooby!
The Terrible Tragedy of One Colorful Character
The Church of the Holy Shaggaho
Tale of the Trojan Sphynx
Time Warped
Billy Space Codger & the December Frog
Spaced Out in East Mudbucket
Sex, Drugs, & Siren’s Songs
Froggenstein’s Monster
Brain Transplant
Time & Time Again
Blue Moons over Widdlydink
The Other Slimy Cesspool of a Frog Shit Village
The Mesmerizing Sound of Lethargic Radiation

I might add that the book (minus the story “Sex, Drugs, & Siren’s Songs” - that’s a new one) appear in print form from Lulu.

Monday, December 26, 2011

THE BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE

I love this film, especially the sound the "beastie" makes. A classic B-grade movie.

A-Z, CITIES OF DEATH


My story D I FOR DARKTOWNE “An Eye for an Eye” will be appearing in the Static Movement anthology, A-Z, CITIES OF DEATH, edited by Dean Drinkel. Here’s a little sample of the story -


Jolly Roger Johnson was a jolly fool alright. Yeah. More than that, he was a certifiable jolly bastard and lunatic.

One creepy crazy son-of-a-bitch.

Always going against the grain; taking chances, dodging the night, crouching in the dark with the little worm eaten wooden box tucked under an arm. Called it his Box of Shades. Never let anyone see what was inside.

Jolly Roger ran the night creeps down alleys and byways, always looking for a thrill then hiding from it when it popped up in all its ugly deadly dangerous glory.

Like a gang of slime infested murderous thugs banging some righteous good looking chick while her boyfriend/husband/father…whatever…was forced to watch before blowing their brains out or sticking them on a parking meter. Sometimes the dude died and the lady didn’t. Keep her around for fun and games.

And there were the dead bastards. Zombies that climbed out of their graves, lurched around in the dark, caught unsuspecting night walkers that thought they were safe only to howl bloody murder when the zombies started sharing the poor fool or foolette for lunch. A rip of flesh here, a pluck of an eyeball there.

Always the same. Ordered up and served. Zombie fodder.

Then there were the vamps. Looking like something out of the fifties with jeans, black leather jackets or white t-shirts.

And slicked back hair except for the female vamps. Hell, the lady vamps hardly wore anything at all and usually sported long straggly hair. Always laughing, always violent. Just didn’t want to get caught by a fucking bloodsucker.

Even worse, more than one bloodsucker.

Like this night; Jolly Roger damn near walked straight into a half dozen blood sucking vamps partying down with a poor unfortunate couple caught out after dark. Wasn’t long before two of the vamps took to the night sky with the young man who was howling at the top of his lungs.

Four blood suckers stayed behind to entertain the young woman. They stripped her clothing as quick and easy as peeling a banana, shared some bat-dick with her, then passed her around for a midnight cocktail.

Blood from a breast.

Both breasts.

Good enough for now.

With a blood sucker on each ankle, they disappeared down the night black alley, dragging the poor bitch with them. No doubt for a snack sometime before dawn.

They hadn’t noticed Jolly Roger crouching behind an overflowing dumpster, the little Box of Shades tucked under an rm. The dumpster was burning with something dead inside. Hell, it smelled, and was hot. Got Jolly Roger to sweating, hoping those bloodsuckers would get done and get out so he could get out with his blood intact. After all, he had a job to do, a setup.

He hurried away, skirting the shadows, and headed south toward the East Midlothian neighborhood.

** **

Hope you like it and pickup the anthology! Many thanks…

Oh yeah, while I’m at it, I ran down Mister Tangiers in a dark basement corner of some long deserted and abandoned building, tried to drag a few words of his story out of him for the same anthology. Reluctantly, he scribbled a few, and told me to get out before Mister Legs got pissed. Was good advice; a few bodies were wrapped up nice and tight I saw in the shadows…anyway, a tiny slice of Tangiers’ U IS FOR UBAR “The Crypt of Alhazred”…all that Tangiers would cough up…


Able Allerton camped. He didn’t want to arrive at the Ubar ruins in the middle of the night. Something inside had begun to whisper that the stories were true, djinns and night spirits bad enough to make a mess of your mind.

Just couldn’t shake the idea.

Yeah, that spooky shit.

Especially so when that howling demon wind came racing across the sands and swirled around Able’s tent.

Freaked him out, sat him right up in his tent.

He peered about wildly.

Fuckin’ djinns! Fuckin’ killer djinns!

Shadows danced, eerie shadows like djinns laughing and calling to him.

Made Able shiver and scramble on all fours, a mad dash into the night where only embers fluttered around his now nearly dead camp fire, tiny glowing firelights that rode currents of air, quickly dying as they rose.

Off in the distance a soft eerie glow of light swirled like windblown fog across the sands where the ruins of Ubar were suppose to be.

It looked like ghosts in a slow swirling dance of the dead, and beacons of lights dancing about writhing shadows.

Torches held by something unholy, heathenish, otherworldly.

Howling a rite of death.

Calling to Able to join their macabre masque.

They were there, spirits and djinns, and they knew Able was there, not far away.

Coming to their kingdom.

Their city of the dead.

Ubar.

Irem, the City of Pillars.

Perhaps best known as the Nameless City.

Able’s thoughts focused; he frowned. Yeah, the Nameless City…Alhazred’s City.

And Able Allerton suddenly began to wonder if he shouldn’t have left well enough alone.

He chuckled.

A weak half-hearted and fearful chuckle.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

CURSE OF THE DEMON

AKA NIGHT OF THE DEMON, one of my favorites.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

FEAST OF THE DEAD


Okay peoples, I noted in a blog just a few beneath this one that Static Movement had just released their FALL SHUDDERS anthology. Included is my story, “Feast of the Dead.” Here’s a brief excerpt of the story. Hope you like it and pick up a copy of the anthology!


It was still All Hallows Eve.

The world had started to fade back in again.

A blurry spiral. Dizziness and pain. Jena’s cheek hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. Hell, if it wasn’t dark and she had a makeup mirror, she would have seen a big black and blue mark spread out on the side of her face. Nate had walloped her good.

Bastard, came the thought through her addled brain and pain.

Her vision began to clear and she saw them. Two dozen or so. Weirdo freakazoids. All dressed up in dirty white burlap sacks, their faces painted over with dirt or ash or…what had Nate said?...oh yeah, charcoal.

Jena chuckled. Soft, painful.

A bunch of freaky looking scarecrows they were. A bunch a back country bumpkins clamoring around at the edge of the cemetery. A big bonfire hissed and crackled, spread a dim orange light through the little cemetery.

Yeah, Hallowe’en.

Long shadows faded into the night.

And that prick, Nate Warwick, was right in there with those weirdo freakazoids all decked out in charcoal painted face and dirty white burlap.

Goofy bastard!

“You son-of-a-bitch!” Jena shouted, then winced. Damn, her face hurt.

About that time she realized she was strung up on a wooden pole. Arms outstretched over her head, wrists bound by a rope. Feet barely touched the ground. And stark naked as a jaybird in front of God, country, and two dozen plus weirdo freakazoids.

Kinda dawned on her right then and there when she started to go after Nate. The rope went taunt, hauled her ass back. The back of her head bounced off the pole with an audible thud.

“Shit!” she growled.

Eyes squinted.

More pain.

Saw stars.

Now her cheek and the back of her head hurt. Vision blurred a bit, but cleared fast.

Saw some silly bitch in a scarecrow getup doing the eye of newt, bat’s blood, frog’s tail thing in some big bowl on the stand. There was a fire crackling in that bowl, and smoke rolled out, smelled funny. Like a drug or something. The silly bitch started talking some strange bullshit, like a witch doing the bubble bubble toil and trouble routine.

Then the rest; they started the same droning nonsense. Only Nate wasn’t joining in their merry festivities.

Or was he?

He started toward Jena. His eyes were narrowed, glassy.

Sniffing the smoke out of that bowl most likely.

“About time you stopped this nonsense,” Jena growled as Nate approached. “Untie me from this…”

It was about then that Jena got a whiff of that smoke wafting from that bowl. Sent her thoughts spiraling. Kind of a cool spiral though. Real freaky. Like she was doing coke or crank or something. Wow!

Everything suddenly turned surreal. The scene seemed to swim, distort. Time slowed. Jena chuckled as she turned her gaze to Nate. He stood there; he had dropped his burlap, and looked like he was about ready to rock and roll Jena’s world.

“Wow baby!” she suddenly cackled.

Nate reached up, grabbed Jena, and spun her around; jacked her up face first against the pole. Then hiked her legs and took it to her hard, deep, and slow in rhythm to the weirdo freakazoids yaking their nonsense.

Jena squealed, and laughed, and gasped. The drug coursed through her lungs, her thoughts, her brain.

“…fertility rite...,” she heard Nate growl softly into her ear.